I have decided today what I will do in order to keep my mind nimble in the wrinkle-multiplying years to come. I have read and seen many techniques touted for brain health from swinging my arms while walking to doing crossword puzzles and brain teasers every day. I am going to forget all of those things I have seen before. Some take time and others take money and they all add just one more thing to that list of crud I must do just to feel like a worthwhile human being each day. No more jumbles for me! No more cross-body exercise routines! I am heading off to the grocery store. That is where I will be found when I am completing my mental acuity exercises.
What brought me to this epiphany, you ask? A quick sortie to the local market was the impetus. My husband escorted me to Target the other evening. We had a short list to complete and a limited amount of time. The last of the items on the list was toilet paper. No problem, I thought. We'll just grab it and be done in no time. I was sorely mistaken in my thinking. My husband and I spent no less than fifteen minutes trying to figure out which blessed toilet paper to buy. We must have looked like absolute idiots, each of us presenting our well-crafted sides of the toilet paper debate. I am still not sure exactly what kind of toilet paper we now own. It was all too stressful and I may have a bit of P.T.S.D. There are simply way too many kinds of toilet paper in the aisle.
There are also far too many types of toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, sugar, tissues, pasta, cheese, etc. Remember when you could go into the grocery and the only difficult choice you had was Colgate or Crest? Really discerning people may have had the Hunts vs. Heinz decision facing them. I don't know if others may have lingered in the canned fruit aisle on occasion considering a switch to Mott's from Musselman's. None the less, the choice of one out of two is something I can generally handle on a trip to the Kroger store. Figuring out if I need plaque control or breath freshener mixed with whitener in my toothpaste is too much to cope with at 5:30 p.m. after a long day of teaching. All I want to know is where I can find the Prell.
Instead of heading down the path of rampant frustration and defeat, I have decided to use the marketers' obnoxious strategies to my own advantage. I will actually try to examine and determine what products are the ones I actually want to use in my home and on my face. I will study the labels and attempt to discern what I am buying before I head to the register to shell out inordinate amounts of cash for something I am going to put down a toilet. At his point I am not sure if the cream I am using for my eyes is really for my calluses. This plan will not only test my brain, it will test my patience. Both are things that need to be increased during these trying days of on-coming old age.
If you are getting up there in years and desirous of a youthful brain, join me. We can start a club. I will make t-shirts--I'll have my daughter design them-- and we'll wear them when we shop. When we see each other floundering in the aisles, we will reach out to one another. These chance meetings could lead to nice chats over coffee. Those little chats may lead to new friendships or or even, for those single folks, love interests. Chatting and love, I am told, are also good for keeping our brains young. So, there we have it. A simple trip to the store is the answer for us all. See you at Walgreen's.
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